A Change in Perspective

I have been dreading the month of April… for MONTHS. It kind of feels like January through March has been this huge build up of unsustainable activities… and it all culminates in ONE month. In April alone – we have 1 school field, 1 youth group field trip, 2 birthdays, an anniversary, a cheer competition showcase, sports tryouts, doctor's appointments, sports practices, and a national cheer competition out of state… and of course tax bills are rolling in. It’s all just too much… and as I penciled each of these things into our calendar over the past several months, anxiety just grew and grew. So coming out of March, staring April straight in the face… I’m in full blown panic mode. Our jobs are already both overwhelming, stretched to the max and running over with responsibilities, overdue deadlines, not enough hours in the day to get it all done, insanity! And through all of the busyness we have tackled since January 1^st, I’ve still had it in the back of my mind and voiced more times than I’d like to count… “April is going to be awful. I don’t know how we are going to make all of this work. I can’t wait for all of this to be over…” and, well, you get the point. So here we are, 4 days out from D-Day… and I am FREAKING OUT. Nevermind the fact that we will be celebrating our daughter’s cheer season, our 18^th wedding anniversary, my 40^th birthday and my dad’s 65^th birthday (which is a miracle in and of itself)… all I can focus on is the negative.

And isn’t that where the enemy wants us… so caught up in the STUFF, the busyness, the stress, that we miss out on the biggest blessings right in front of us. Like 18 years of hard fought seasons of marriage… 18 years of joy, hardship, overcoming, grace, patience and faithfulness. Like 40 years of a life I have been granted the privilege every morning of living, that’s so full of the blessings of God that I can’t even keep count. Like 65 years of a father’s life of wisdom, jokes, heart to heart talks and overcoming obstacles. Shouldn’t those 3 things alone take the stage from the chaos and uncertainty that may or may not even happen. Why is it so easy to focus on the struggle, on the uncertainty, on the trying seasons, and so hard to take hold of the blessings, the infinite reasons of speaking gratitude, that happen in our lives every single day. Why do I let my mind go to the dark places of fear and depression when the sun is shining, there’s a roof over our head, and 4 heartbeats still inside our home. Why do I focus so much on what COULD go wrong rather than the hard TRUTH that God is sufficient to supply all of our needs, He’s faithful and WILL NOT FORSAKE US… that He’s already working this thing out to our good. He’s God, He’s not a liar and His Word tells me these things – WHY is it so hard for me to live that out and so easy to cling to the lie that “we can’t do this… this going to be too hard, etc.”.

Why… because peace lives in the truth and chaos lives in the lie, and the enemy is the father of chaos and if he can convince us to live there long enough, joy, peace, a sound mind… all the GOOD, all the TRUTH, will eventually be sacrificed at the altar of “But, God??” instead of “But, GOD!”.

So today, in the midst of my worry, and anxiety of what COULD be… I will rest in the promise of what IS. God is good. God is faithful. God sees the next several weeks and He’s already worked things out for our good. God is sufficient. He’s Jehovah-Jireh, my provider, my strength, my joy, my rock, my salvation. And no lie from the pit of hell can stand against the Truth of God. So today, 4 days out from D-day, I’ll look at this upcoming month with gratitude for all of the blessings and opportunities that have come our way. And I don’t know how (because I don’t NEED to know how) – but God WILL work it out. He will make a way. I will not be a victim and let the enemy take the joy out of all I have to be grateful for. I will get up each morning, thank God for another day, lay it at His feet, open my heart, mind and ears and follow His lead. The month of April is going to be AMAZING.