There’ll Be Another in the Fire...

The fire...I guess you could say I have been consumed by the fire for the past 2 years. And for a while...I was dead-set on fighting that fire, working diligently to put it out, by myself. I prayed, I read my Bible, I professed my beliefs, I warmed a pew...I checked all of the 'good Christian girl' boxes - and yet I was bound. Bound by fear and bound by pride. I wrestled with the Lord day after day, month after month and eventually year after year.

The breaking point came about 3 months ago. I had prayed, over and over, for a way out of one miserable situation after another. I was soul sick with worry and anxiety and frustration over this all-powerful, all-knowing God that had seemingly turned a deaf ear to my pleas. I stood in the shower, tears streaming down my face and screamed at the top of my lungs "Where are You!!? Why aren't you doing anything?! You said you would never forsake me...well where are You then?"

And as clear as day, God spoke to my spirit "This fire isn't for your destruction, it's for your refinement." All of a sudden it became very clear that these situations I was trying to pray my way out of, although painful and difficult, were for a purpose. They were meant to drive me back to the feet of Jesus, to strengthen my faith and heal my spirit.

I spent so much time trying to get out of the fire, that I failed to see that there was another in the fire with me.

For years - I have known that God has placed a calling on my life. I've spent time pursuing that calling and time denying that calling. I've made every excuse in the world for not acting on it. I've prioritized other things over it - even though everything within me longs to live it out. I've convinced myself I'm unworthy, undeserving and unqualified to take my place on that platform, and I've believed that. 2019 was a year of soul wrestling, spirit killing rebellion for me. I've found we can create our own desperate set of circumstances when we insist on living out our will instead of God's will. I've watched all year as each work of my hand resulted in one disaster after another, simply because I insisted on being the god of my own life. What I was professing with my lips - was not what I was living out in my life. I'd like to say I wasn't living in sin - but let's be real - not heeding God's calling, choosing my own will over His will is rebellion...it's sin, and it was destroying me from the inside out.

The past several months I found myself back in church consistently. And week after week, the praise team was singing one of the same songs over and over again. I nearly come undone every time it starts because I know - God is speaking to me. He's reminding me...there's another in fire. (Click the link below to listen. Seriously...stop what you're doing and listen.)

Another in the Fire - Hillsong United

Week after week I've been reminded...there's another in the fire. And week after week, prayer after prayer, tear after tear, God has been rebuilding and restoring what I worked so hard to undo over the years.

I started reading Priscilla Shirer's 'The Resolution for Women' last week...the chapter I read last night nearly brought me to my knees. After weeks of searching for answers, of seeking God's guidance, I found it in three verses, three verses that defeated each fear, attacked each lie of the enemy and answered each request I made.

"Not that we are sufficiently qualified in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency and qualifications come from God." - 2 Corinthians 3:5 AMP

No...me, Michelle Collins, in my own power am not qualified...but by God's grace I am. He has called me - insufficient me (and insufficient you) for a purpose that only I (and only you) can fulfill. He has equipped us with everything we need to achieve that purpose and we have the responsibility to not let that gift go wasted. Someone out there, somewhere, needs to hear the words that I bring. They need to hear the words that only you can speak.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument], And before you were born I consecrated you [to Myself as My own]; I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations" - Jeremiah 1:5 AMP

Before I made my grand appearance on April 6, 1983 - He knew me. He knew my purpose before I took my first breath. He appointed Me, He consecrated Me, He CHOSE ME!! When those fears or whispers of doubt creep in, I can hold onto the truth that He has called me for a purpose. When I start to question 'who am I to do this...' I can answer - He appointed me! And you, yes YOU - you too have been approved, chosen and appointed. Stop letting the voice of treason, the lies of the enemy, convince you otherwise.

"For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above - spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us]." - Ephesians 2:10 AMP 

No matter what kind of mess I've made of myself in the past, His grace and mercy are sufficient and I am His. No mess-up, no mistake can change that. God Himself created me as a work of art, to be used for good works. I am destined for a specific purpose and it's time I start living like it. It's time I actually started to believe it.

It's easy to convince ourselves otherwise - it's easy to relegate myself as worthless, hopeless, lost and messed up. But thankfully I am who HE says I am. And YOU are who HE says you are. You are chosen, not forsaken, You are a child of the King. 

In 2020 I'm purposing to live out my calling. I'm stepping out in faith and giving God my gifts and talents to be used for His glory. And I hope you'll join me, here in my little corner of the internet and walk this journey with me.

Morning Madness

Why is it so easy to become angry? Why must frustration become my first reaction?

This morning started out as perfect as a morning could start out. I actually got out of bed early (I only hit ‘snooze’ one time – win for me!). I made myself a wholesome, healthy breakfast – sat down at the dinner table and soaked in just a few moments of alone time, enjoying my omelet, the sunrise and a chance to check my email in peace.

My first little princess wondered out of her room – curled up on the couch and was content with her blanket and cartoons. I still had a whole hour to get ready before I had to get out the door.

Fast forward 15 minutes – apparently my husband and I miscommunicated about the plans for the day – and my serene morning quickly turned into chaos. Now I only had 45 minutes to feed the kids breakfast, pack their lunches, pack my lunch, get myself ready, drop them off at day care and get to work.

My gentle, kind and quiet spirit quickly turned to stressed, frantic and loud. Fighting ensued between the girls – discipline was dished out for bad attitudes and disrespectful behavior, and my demeanor was on a downward spiral.

I was frustrated and everyone in the house knew it.

Have you been there? Has it been your intention to show grace, have patience and speak softly – but you just keep missing the mark? That’s my intention every time – but more often than not, I react based on my frustration rather than reacting with wisdom the way God would have me to.

“…because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires”. James 1:20

I know this is an area of my life that needs work – and I’m willing to bet that some of you struggle with the same thing. (Let’s be honest – I think some mornings our kids wake up with the intention to drive us insane!)

But when we react with grace and patience when they’re expecting us to fly off the handle – we’re modeling self-control.

When we show gentleness and kindness when they expect punishment and harsh words – maybe, just maybe, they’ll learn to react the same way.

If your morning started out like mine – take heart in knowing, it’s not too late to start over. Admit your wrong doing, ask for forgiveness and move on with your day determined to react with wisdom rather than foolishness.

Ministry Happens in the Mundane

I started this blog a few years ago - with the hopes that God would use me to encourage weary working mamas like myself.

I planned and brainstormed to write about topics that I felt were relevant and that, honestly, would draw readers in.

I kept a notebook full of series ideas. I had grand plans. And then I failed.

I would write - and plan - and write - and plan...and then I'd stop for a month or so.

And then the cycle would start over. I wanted people to come to my blog and leave changed. I wanted to make a difference. I, I, I.

I knew (and still know) that God has called me to this type of ministry. But when I failed on my blogging venture - I felt like my ministry was over. I mean - there isn't much ministering going on if I'm not writing something for people to be ministered by, right?!

LIE!

There was - there is ministry going on. It's happening every morning as I make breakfast for my littles, as I tie shoes, pack backpacks and brush blond ringlets into ponytails.

Ministry happens when I choose to be gentle instead of yelling - and when I apologize for the times that I do yell. 

It's ministering when I put hot food on the table every evening - even when my body aches from a full day of work - when I greet my husband with a kiss, when we kneel to say bedtime prayers, when I clean up kids who get sick in the middle of the night and didn't quite make it to the bathroom.

Ministry happens in the mundane. 

Motherhood IS ministry. Working to be a Godly wife IS ministry. Being a good friend, offering a helping hand to someone in need - all those little things that we do every day are really making a HUGE impact for the kingdom.

No - I don't get 100 'likes' when I put a band-aid on a boo-boo. I don't get 'shares' when I offer someone my shopping cart in the grocery store. No one notices when I tuck that little note saying 'Mommy loves you' into the lunch box - but God sees. The heart of the recipient of those small acts of grace knows. 

I know - mama, I know - that these little mundane tasks that we do everyday can be exhausting - are often done in vain - and more often taken for granted.

Understand that what you do matters - you don't have to be Ann Voskamp or Lysa TerKeurst to have ministry. Don't feel like what you do for the kingdom is insignificant because your name isn't on a book or on the itinerary at a national conference. 

You are raising up arrows. 

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. 

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." 

Psalm 127:3-5

What Is the Focus of Your Family?

The modern family – what exactly does that mean? (I wasn't around – but according to my grandparents) the family unit looked much different 60 years ago.

A lot has changed over the past several decades. We've seen the divorce rate climb, more and more children are being raised in blended families, by only one parent or by parents of the same sex. We've seen the power struggle between the father and the mother. We have fathers who refuse to lead and mothers who refuse to nurture. But more than anything – we have seen the central focus of the family move from God, to the child.

I am a “millennial” – so really, I am ignorant to what a God centered family would look like. My parents didn't come to know Christ until I was a pre-teen so the central focus of our home was NOT Jesus. I was the common goal – the only child – their central focus. (Thankfully I didn't grow up to be a spoiled rotten adult – no really!! I didn't!)

To be honest – this is a struggle for me – for my family. Society tells us that the child is what’s MOST important. Every decision made, every action taken must be in the interest of what’s best for the child…how can we really disagree with that??

Let’s be honest here – I want what’s best for my two daughters. I want to give them every advantage I can in this life – it’s a tough world out there.

And what’s the best thing we can give them? What one, single, solitary gift can we give them that will provide them with the ONLY advantage they could ever need…

JESUS!!

If you are like me – you have felt the pressure to get your child involved. (after all – idle hands are the devil’s workshop, right???)

We send them to the best preschools, we put them into sports, we sign them up for music lessons, karate lessons, art class and AWANA. We read to them, take them to the library, do crafts at home, have family game night. We speak life into them, we encourage and motivate them. We have them do Bible study and memorize Bible verses. We teach them manners and how to save money. We sacrifice date night for family fun night – Saturday mornings are full of soccer practice, ballet practice and basketball games. Travel sports consume our schedule all for what…

To give them an advantage?

To prepare them for the real world?

To make them better? More skilled?

While all of these things (even the ones directly pointing them to Christ) may be good – what is the eternal value here?

Whose approval are we seeking? Are we trying to please our children or please our Heavenly Father?

When we fill every second, every spare hour of our schedule with activity we leave little room for relationship.

Relationship between mom and dad.

Relationship between parent and child.

Relationship between Savior and self.

We are creating adults who will never know what it means to be STILL - adults who are pre-programmed to live overwhelmed and overstretched.

What we need to do is take the focus off of the child and put the focus back on Christ.

We need less soccer and more songs of worship. Less TV and more family Bible study.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:19-21 ESV

We need more discipleship and less distraction.

We as parents should be seeking God FIRST! Our children need to see us on our knees, in our Bibles, giving in offering. (Believe me, I am preaching to myself here!!!)

We can cheer them on, on the sidelines of the soccer field – and still pour into them, Godly wisdom.

We need to teach them humility, sacrifice and kindness. That’s a hard lesson to learn when every part of their day is spent being catered to.

They do not NEED every new toy, to play every single sport, to have every second of their day spent doing something!!

If we’re being honest here – that’s a lesson most of us adults need to learn. We focus on work, that next promotion, the new home project, our next committee meeting – but we can’t take 30 minutes every morning to meet with our Savior – we fall asleep during bed time prayers – the Bible on the shelf collects more dust each day.

We have lost our focus…

I encourage you today – look for areas in your life – where you can make improvement. Make Bible study and prayer time in your own life a priority. Come alongside your kids every evening and meet the Father with one another. Sure – teach them free throws, field goals and front hand springs – and teach them the 10 commandments, what it means to love others, and how to meet Jesus.

And just in case some of you find yourself in this position – seek what God wants for your child rather than what YOU want for your child.

Is your home child focused or Christ focused? How do you keep your priorities in order? Any suggestions for the rest of us trying to shift the focus in our homes?

Taking Back Today

So...I have been absent over the past few weeks. A 'small' weekend DIY project extended into a 2.5 week nightmare that had us shuttling back and forth from our house to my parents house everyday. IT.HAS.BEEN.CHAOS!

We have survived off of take out daily and haven't been in our normal routine AT ALL. You can imagine what this does to the kiddos - let's just say, their behavior has been less than stellar.

And mine...well I am ashamed to admit that my attitude has taken a turn for the worst as well. This mama needs routine! I grocery shopped for the first time in 3 weeks last night (grocery shopping is MY Achilles heel!) and truth be told - I felt liberated. I could have done a cartwheel right down the frozen foods aisle! I will NOT complain about grocery shopping again - nothing feels more routine that grocery shopping - and for once, I WAS LOVING IT.

So finally - FINALLY! - we are back in our home. All of 4 of us Collins folk all under one roof. I am taking back today! Things are still in disaray - but the piles are getting smaller and day by day less tools, paint cans and screwdrivers are taking up my counters. I am hoping that by the end of this upcoming weekend - we will be back to NORMAL! 

(One can dream, right?!)

It has been a month of trials for us. From injuries, sickness, doctor visits, overnight stays for medical testing, unexpected home repairs, you name it...it has not been easy. I feel foolish for being so disheartened with all that has gone on - because even with our trials - we are far better off than a lot of people. I feel foolish for complaining when in truth, we are all healthy (for the most part), we have a roof over our head every night, food in our tummies everyday, and we have each other. We are rich in blessing and the enemy does all he can to distract us from that truth. 

I understand God has us go through some things to stretch us, teach us, help us build our character. He has certainly been teaching me a lesson in patience and faith these past few weeks - unfortunately, I haven't been the most willing student. I have grumbled, I have cried, I have whined, I have complained - been mad, bitter, inpatient and discontent. But I am reminded that His ways are higher than mine - and His thoughts are too - He knows better than I do.

My job is to trust Him and hang on to the ride we call life!

How have you been? I have missed blogging!! I hope to back into my normal routine next week! Until then...

There's No Use Crying (or yelling) Over Spilled Milk

*I know it isn't Thursday - but here is a 'throwback' post from October 2012

We woke up this morning to a pretty terrible thunderstorm, in the middle of October - are you kidding me!? I am NOT, nor will I EVER be a fan of storms - and I guess that fear has kind of rolled over into both of my daughters.

Nevaeh sat down at the dining room table for breakfast, 5 minutes later I saw her sitting in the living room, eating her waffle so she "wasn't too close to the windows."

Okay - so this parlayed fear isn't something I am proud of - but I'm working on it.

A few bolts of lightning hit a little too close to home so we shut off the TV and Nevaeh and Lillian spend the remainder of the morning right on my heels, following me through the house, as if they are actually outrunning the storm...then the milk spilled.

Nevaeh was carrying her plate around the house - with her cup of milk on top of the plate. I barely got "please be careful with your milk" out of my mouth, and you guessed it, milk everywhere; all down her school clothes and all over my clean tile. And I snapped!! There she was, a chocolate milk mess - with fear in her eyes as another rumble of thunder sounded.

All she was trying to do was stay close to me to help squander the fear of the storm raging outside our home - when I started raging one inside. 

I saw the defeat in her eyes. I felt terrible. She changed clothes, I cleaned the mess, and we went on about our morning.

We always say our prayers in the car as we're driving to school and daycare - and after prayer this morning, I felt convicted. I stole a little bit of my daughter's joy this morning - all because cleaning up that mess was inconvenient for me. So, I swallowed my pride, looked my 5 year old little big girl in the eyes and said "I'm sorry Nevaeh, I shouldn't have gotten upset with you for spilling the milk. It was an accident and accidents are okay. I'm sorry I yelled at you." And just as any child would, she forgave me and that bright smile reappeared. 

Sometimes I find myself flying through my life - so caught up in the responsibilities of my career and keeping my home in order that I forget how precious my moments are with my two little blessings. Every mistake is a lesson. This morning, over spilled milk, I could have reassured Nevaeh that "It's okay. It's an accident, we can fix this." I could have had some patience and understanding, knowing that she was already a little anxious with the thunder and lightning. But I didn't. I forgot about the importance of the moment and reacted in a terrible way. I wish I could take it back and would have used that moment differently. But all I could do was apologize and try harder next time.

Kids grow up too fast.

One minute it's all nursing and lullabies then the next thing you know it's shuttling from one practice or event to another, homework, bath time, and then...graduation. 

I am reserving to slow down a little bit and enjoy this time with my kids. To play, get outside and run around - to show grace. I just want to soak up their childhood, because all too soon it will be gone and I will be left with a lot of "I wish I would've done this instead". Hopefully, I will learn to appreciate the little moments more - even if it includes spilled milk.

From Chaos to Cozy

Keeping the house clean and in order is a challenge for many of us ladies!! I am a total perfectionist - and well, perfectionism and children just can't live in the same house with one another. This will be one of those areas where you MUST give yourself grace.

You need a plan if you are going to keep your stuff together - trust me, I have learned this lesson the hard way. If you wing it, it won't happen and you will find yourself flying into a tizzy every time someone comes over.

Early in my marriage - the Flylady saved my life - or, at least my sanity. Although I don't adhere to all of her practices now - I took what I learned from her and adapted it to work for our family. 

Here's what works for us...

I do a few things everyday - to keep the chaos under control. 

*Make the bed

I do this as soon as I get out of bed in the morning. The girls make their own beds as well.

*Wash, dry, fold and put away one load of laundry

I do at least one load of laundry a day. Lately, I have been getting up early enough in the morning to wash and dry a load before work. That evening when I get home from work - while dinner is on the stove or in the oven, I fold that one load. The kids put away their own clothes after I have folded them.

*Load and/or unload the dishwasher

I try to keep the sink free of dirty dishes. It just instantly makes the kitchen look better if the sink is clean. 

*Empty Trash

This may not need to be done everyday. Seems like our family generates enough trash for two families!!

*15 minute pickup 

While dinner is cooking or after dinner is over - I like to spend just a few minutes tidying up. I check homework, sign the girls' planners, put away shoes, coats, mail, random lying objects, etc. 

*Swish & Swipe the bathroom (I got this from the Flylady)

Every evening before I take my own shower, I wipe our sink down, wipe down our toilet, give it a good swish, and wipe down our shower. I keep Clorox wipes and a Magic Eraser (they really are magical!) under the sink in our bathroom. Trust me - when someone wakes up at 2am with a stomach virus and they spend 2 hours hugging the toilet, they will be glad its clean!!

*Sanitize kitchen counters

Because I'm a complete germ-a-phobe and have a love/hate relationship with preparing meat - I sanitize my kitchen counters at least a dozen times a day (it seems)

As soon as you get into the habit of doing these things, it just becomes a part of your day. These things really don't take that much time - and in my own experience - really cut down on the madness in our home.

I had read several blogs (Women Living Well and Time Warp Wife) that suggest breaking down the housework over the course of a week. For example: Monday's you clean bathrooms, Tuesday you sweep and mop, Wednesday you dust...etc.

That may work great for you - if so, I recommend checking out both of the two blogs listed above and checkout their housekeeping schedules.

I do a "weekly home blessing" (from the Flylady) on Thursday of each week. Because I keep our home fairly clean through the week - with each of my daily tasks - I can complete my "home blessing" in 1-2 hours. This may take longer or less time depending on the size of your home (and your mess). 

Weekly Home Blessing

Dust and polish all furniture

Sweet & Mop all hardwood and tile floors

Vacuum the carpet in the bedrooms

Clean the bathroom

Windex all mirrors

Swiffer dust the blinds, pictures and artwork on the walls

Febreeze curtains and closets

Clean the kitchen counters

I'd like to add - that my husband and I tend to be neat freaks anyway. We just naturally keeps things tidied up (for the most part) and our girls do a good job (with a little prodding) at keeping their bedroom and playroom tidied up. I know some people don't have this tendency - and this area may be a challenge for you. I encourage you to give it a try. Remember, purpose is greater than perfection!! You will NOT, I repeat, will NOT have a perfectly clean home with children in the house. And you shouldn't spend more time cleaning messes than playing with the kiddos. 

I hope this helps - or at least gives you a good starting point to get your own house under control. Once it becomes a habit, these things run along smoothly.

And yes - I have weeks when I get in a funk and don't adhere to my routine well - but I regret it every.single.time. Playing catch up is no fun, so I feel the extra effort each day really makes a big difference.

Be sure to check out the links through this post for other great ideas!!

How do you keep the chaos away? Are you a planner or a "wing it" kinda gal? Do you do a little each day or one day of cleaning?

**Next week we will talk to-do lists and getting the kiddos involved!!

Give Yourself Grace

 

Grace...it's something we talk about. It's something we encourage others to show to one another or even give themselves. We tell sinners that we are saved by God's grace and they can be too. Grace...it can often be something that is easier to give, than receive.

 

I know that I am so unworthy of God's grace on my life. Jesus laid down his life and took on my sin - and there is nothing I can do that will ever repay that debt. And that is where grace comes in. No, there isn't ANYTHING I can do to earn it - God freely gives it.

 

And as mamas, wives, friends, employees, etc. - it's something we have to learn to give ourselves.

 

You will not be the perfect mom, you can't be super woman, you will fail your husband and your children. All of these are inevitable. However, we as women hold ourselves to such a high standard - we strive for absolute perfection! Trust me, I am preaching to the choir, I know. If for no one else, this post is totally for me...about me.

 

There will never be enough hours in the day to get it all done. Season after season will pass when you don't do everything you set out to do. And that's ok. Time goes on...

 

But instead of giving ourselves the grace we often pour out on others - we feel guilty. We live with regret. That monologue of "could have" "should have" is constantly playing the background.

 

Give yourself grace mama.

 

The whole reason I started this blog was because I have been in that place. My to-do list was a mile long, I went over and beyond to meet the needs of those around me. And honestly, I wasn't doing it all to the glory of God - it was often to the glory of Michelle. I liked that satisfaction of doing it all or at least seeming to be doing it all. I wanted to be super woman - when really...all I was, was a worn out woman.

 

And that worn out woman would eventually have enough. My priorities were so skewed. Weariness sets in and gentleness and kindness disappears. We become consumed with the project at hand and forget about the purpose behind it.

 

You're right. You can't do it all. Your house will get messy. You and husband will argue. You will yell at the kids. You will lose patience. You will be unkind. You will become distracted. You will be selfish. You will be envious of other mamas that seem to have it all together.

 

You will put on a few too many pounds. You won't cook every night of the week. You will be unorganized. You will lose stuff. (yes, even your mind!) You too will become worn out. You will lose hope. But don't lose sight of this...

 

God's word says...

 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.   - 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

 

 

Mama...God's grace is sufficient for you. When you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and are on the verge of giving up...go to grace.

 

Yes, God has called us to this wonderful ministry of motherhood. You, friend, are blessed beyond measure. But you can NOT do this on your own. Understand that your parenting, your marriage, your home is your ministry. Do it to the glory of God - and God will sustain you.

 

Let yourself off the hook. You are human, you will fail and that's ok.

 

This weekend - don't be so consumed with the to-do's that you forget how to be mama. Remember - earlier this week we talked about purpose being greater than perfection. That is true in ALL areas of your life. 

 

Have some grace for mama today!!

 





 



Homemaking: Purpose > Perfection (Managing Mama)

When it comes to homemaking, purpose is greater than perfection.

Often, wives fall into 1 of 2 categories when it comes to their take on homemaking - either it's a priority or it isn't a priority. Regardless of where you fall in this debate - I hope, today, I can help you find some joy in seeing that YOU can be a blessing to your family by cleaning toilets, washing dishes and folding laundry. And, if you do it with the right attitude - to bring glory to God through serving your family - you too will be blessed.

I understand those who say that homemaking should not be a priority. I get it - especially if you have little ones at home. It feels nearly impossible to keep the house in order. My children are only 2.5 years apart - so I lived those times, with a newborn and a toddler, then a toddler and preschooler, now 2, grade school girlies. There is never a time when everything is done, and perfect, simultaneously. There's always another dish to load in the dishwasher, more laundry that keeps piling up, dust settles just as soon as its wiped away, smudges come almost instantly onto polished furnished - and the windows...forget about it.

If you are one of these moms/wives/women...please release the guilt of not being able to get it all done. There are seasons in life when, well, things will be messy. When you are up nursing a newborn every 2 hours - you need to use your downtime (what little there is) to rest and nourish yourself. There will come a time (yes, I promise, it is coming) when there will be more hours in your day to be "productive". 

But I have to stop here and say I absolutely do not agree with the women who say homemaking should not be a priority. I read a blog post recently that was almost admonishing to women who keep a clean home - like we're all sacrificing time with our children to do a few chores around the house. Through the years I have developed my own schedule and have learned to manage time properly enough so I am not sacrificing time with my kids to clean my house. (And I work a full-time job outside of the home.)

I look at my home like this - God has blessed me with a home to share with my family. I have a responsibility to be a good steward of that blessing. I know that isn't a popular opinion - but it's the truth. The Bible speaks against idleness and sloth - if you have time to watch hours of TV - you have time to clean your home. Homemaking should be a priority - it shouldn't be your top priority - but it is important. 

Sweet friend, you are missing out on an incredible opportunity to serve and be a blessing to your family.

A few years back - I was feeling the overwhelming burden of keeping our house tidy, cooking meals, etc. while being a full-time mom to our sweet daughters. I found The Flylady - and while I do not currently fully adhere to her principles - she helped me get my act together. There are still a few tips of hers I put to use that help me keep the house out of C.H.A.O.S (can't have anyone over syndrome - the Flylady's term, NOT mine!) 

As your children get older - give them chores of their own to do. This WILL help you tremendously, and they will enjoy it (at a young age they actually LIKE helping out - I'm sure that will fade fast, capitalize on it while you can!!) Obviously these small jobs should be age appropriate. For example - my 5 year old feeds our dog, makes her bed, helps her sister keep the playroom tidy, loads her clothes in the washer and puts them away after I fold them. She doesn't do these things every day - just as needed through the week. My 8 year old does all the same things except she also helps with loading the dishwasher and emptying the trash. The MyChore Chart app is super - the kids love it!! I highly recommend checking it out. It's available for both iPhone and iPad.

And thankfully - while I carry the biggest brunt of the housekeeping responsibilities - my husband is a big help as well. I don't expect him to help out all that much because I do absolutely NOTHING to help him in the yard, etc. I've never learned how to mow grass, weed or plant flowers, etc. That is his domain (he likes it that way) and the home is mine. 

Monday's - here at Grace for Mama - we will focus on ways to make homemaking an easier task to accomplish in our new "Managing Mama" series. It will take some time for you to develop a good routine that works for your family - and it may take some time to get your attitude about the whole thing in check - but remember, purpose is greater than perfection. No one expects your home to be immaculate - and you shouldn't put that kind of pressure on yourself anyway!! But if you purpose to see housekeeping as a "home blessing" and do it to the glory of God - it may just become something you enjoy!!

**Next week we will discuss developing a cleaning routine

The Earmuff War

OMG ya'll - it is COLD in our neck of the woods. We woke up to temps of 7 degrees with a windchill below zero today. For us southerners - that is CRAZY COLD!! 

Mornings in our house tend to get a little chaotic - my daughters fight ALOT over petty stuff. "She's staring at me" "She made a face at me" "She is sitting too close to me" and it goes on.and.on.

This morning - was no different - in fact, the annoyances were amplified by a two hour delay at school. 

So naturally, just as we're getting ready to walk out the door - the fur flies and the earmuff war begins!!

I told both of my daughters to put on their big coats, gloves and a hat or ear muffs. After the fight over gloves was resolved the earmuff became the center of the Collins Clash. 

All of a sudden, the ear muffs were itchy, they weren't the right ones, "We're not allowed to wear ear muffs at school so I'm NOT wearing these"!

I was DONE.

The fighting was too much! The bad attitudes had to go - so I snapped, just a little bit.

I raised my voice and had an attitude just to tell them how they should not raise they voice and have an attitude...

I got angry. They looked at me bewildered because I became the lunatic going on and on about how they should NOT be lunatics...hypocritical much?

It was not my finest parenting moment and thankfully my husband reigned in my craziness.

I adjusted MY attitude, we made our peace and went about our morning.

Just yesterday I wrote this scripture on a sticky note and posted it on my rearview mirror in my car (because other drivers tend to ruffle my feathers a bit as well) and made the comment that I needed to post it EVERYWHERE. 

So I am going to post it EVERYWHERE so I am reminded ALL THE TIME.

Ouch! God isn't pleased when my daughters fight, argue and get angry with each other and He isn't pleased when I react in anger either.

Somedays I think my kids are teaching me more than I'm teaching them.

What verse helps you get through the day and keep your attitude in check?

Happy Fall Y'all

Fall is my favorite time of year!! I love the crisp, cool mornings and the pleasantly warm afternoons. I love the blanket of changing leaves that cover the Blue Ridge Mountains. I love the football games, bonfires and pumpkin EVERYTHING!!

 

I love that life starts to slow down just a little bit. If only for a season...

I, too, find myself coming into a season of slowing down. When you have kids, a full time job, a handsome husband to care for and a household to run - slowing down seems like an impossibility. I get it - we are BUSY, in every sense of the word. But we are making subtle changes to slow down - if even for a moment, and savor this season of life we are in.

Nevaeh is in the 2nd grade and Lillian began kindergarten this year. I have learned from experience - that when kids start school - TIME FLIES!! Seriously - the years are zooming by at warp speed. Childhood is SHORT and gone far too soon - even sooner in today's society.

So we have intentionally made changes to focus on family and savor these sweet years we are in.

Thankfully - this fall season gives up a lot of opportunities to spend fun times together as a family.

What do you do to make time for family? Do you have standing game nights, family date nights, etc? Do you have special fall activities or traditions that you look forward to each year?

*Just this week we started Family Game Night - and every year we visit the Pumpkin Patch and pick out our own pumpkin to carve.

We would love to hear your ideas.

***Join me here on Monday as we resume the Managing Mama Series - we will be talking about "To Do" Lists

Stay Plugged In Mama...

It had been another one of those days…in fact – “those” days seemed to be the only kind of days I’ve had for a long time. My husband was working late – it was 8:00 in the evening and I was going on my 14^th hour of work (both inside and outside of the home). Because for us mamas, it seems like the work never ends. I had a rough day at work, a busting headache, I was on my 7,485^th basket of laundry and the kids were on my last nerve.

As I folded towels and looked at the clock – thankful at least that bedtime had come and the house would be two voices quieter, the first tear fell…followed by 200 hundred more. I felt defeated. I had been dealing with some health problems that kept me bedridden the weekend before – and I was behind in laundry, housecleaning, dishes, and Bible study…behind in life. I felt lonely, desperate and completely disconnected from God.

I stood there, weeping, blabbering up prayers faster than I could think, pleading for God’s help – pleading for God’s presence. As I prayed, thought, cried – I realized, I’m disconnected because I never plug in.

“But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness…” Matthew 6:33a

I have an iPhone (you other Apple snobs out there can attest to the fact that the battery life is HORRIBLE) and I have to charge it every.single.night – sometimes even during the day. Its charge dwindles fast – especially when I have several apps going at once, sucking the power life right out. Is that you mama? Are you on your last 10% with 10 more people lined up, sucking away your resources, your words of encouragement, your servitude, your joy? Are other people, things, a job sucking the power right out of your life?

When my phone dies – its done! I can plug it up and it isn’t instantly back at 100%. It takes time – in fact it takes time for it to even get charged enough to power back up. When we disconnect ourselves from God by not praying, not reading our Bibles, not going to church (guilty as charged on all 3 accounts) – our power will fade. And it takes time to build back up.

That’s why it is so important to stay connected to our Heavenly Father. He doesn’t want us doing this alone – we were NOT designed to live this life a part from Him. He has created us with a God shaped void – with in an inborn desire for Him.

I prayed and prayed and prayed that night – at the time I wasn’t sure my prayers got further than the ceiling. I know now that He heard me – He always hears us. He had been waiting on me to come to Him…

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion.”   Isaiah 30:18a

It is my desire for you to know that you are not alone. All of us mamas have walked this path – or will. We are here to encourage one another, learn from one another and support one another. But you – YOU – have to prioritize your life – and make sure God is at the top.

This doesn’t mean that you must spend hours in prayer and Bible study each day. But it does mean the effort must be made. Take time to plug in so you don’t power off!

How do you stay connected? Do you have set times for prayer and Bible study?

  

When You Lose Focus...

This motherhood gig is tough stuff. I’ve been reading Christian blogs on parenting and marriage for more than 5 years now. I’ve been writing on my own for just as long. I felt like God had planted a seed in my heart to be shared with other mamas – but the “unworthy” lies of the enemy kept me silent. Finally – in late winter, earlier this year, I decided to take a leap of faith and join the blogosphere with a little “mama” space of my own. I was terrified – putting myself out for the world to see, and read. And then, sooner than I would like to admit, my blog became more about stats and page views and less about the message I was delivering – and I stopped. Suddenly I had made this ministry about me and not about Him, and without Him, there’s just no point.

I have days, months, seasons just like you. Times when I feel like a bad mama, a bad wife, a bad friend, a bad Christian. Times when I don’t measure up in my husband’s eyes, my kids’ eyes and I’m certain, not even God’s eyes. I lose my identity in the madness of this crazy, busy life and I lose focus.

We are taught, by society, that we have one life to live, you only live once, and all the other tacky clichés go on. We are torn between what and who we are living this life for. Girlfriend, I understand that frustration, that loneliness, and that “burnt out” feeling all too well. I know all too well what it’s like to feel like all we do isn’t really making a difference. I lose sight of who I am easily. Yes – I am “wife”, “mama”, “employee”, “friend”, “daughter” – but, above all else…I am the child of the One True King.

^“26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, ²⁷ for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” – Galatians 3:26-27

When this life gets to be TOO MUCH – when you feel like you are falling short in all areas of your life – sometimes you have to go back to the starting place. Before you married that handsome man of yours, before you birthed those beautiful babies, before you entered this world as an infant yourself – you were God’s.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 5:1

I can only offer advice that I have used and benefited from. And I know this – these things work. When you start to feel isolated in your own world, often times it’s because you have relinquished connection with The Most High. I understand you are busy – we all are. This time of year is especially chaotic. But, if you keep plugged into the Word, stay on your knees in prayer, and stay connected to your life source – you will find the strength to wade your way through the busyness without losing your sanity and your joy.

I challenge you (and myself) – to make reading your Bible and going to the Lord in prayer a priority EVERY DAY. Set your alarm 30 minutes early so you can get up, have that coffee J and begin your day with God. Use your lunch break as your study time, or, have your quiet time after the kids go to bed.

You can’t be your best for everyone else if you aren't taking steps to BE. YOUR. BEST. And you are only your best when you are living in obedience to Him.