We've all felt that void - the gnawing, empty feeling that just doesn't go away. Buy more clothes, have more friends, read more books, eat more food - still...it remains. I lived with this "void" for too long. I went to great lengths and performed many religious "rituals" to attempt to pray this thing away...but, it lingered. You see, we, as moms, feel the need to make things "ok" for everybody else. Often in the daily, mundane chaos of mothering we forget, that first WE must be "ok". (Motherhood is hard work!) I have come to find that only when we realize that WE can do nothing (on our own) to fill the void - then we can begin to grow.
I have tried to live a "good enough" life. You know the kind where you say your prayers, read your Bible, speak words of encouragement to others, only to settle back into the mediocrity that has become all too frequent. There's a big difference between doing all these "good-girl" things out of habit or obligation - and doing these things in an honest pursuit of intimacy with our Savior. Is this all there is God? Where's the "feel good"? Where's the joy, peace, and contentment that is supposed to come from loving you? It has been in these times of emptiness, these times of feeling the void that I have come to realize all the WRONG ways I have sought to "fill" it. This void is God shaped and anything other than Him (no matter how noble or "Godly") will NOT fit! True joy and contentment is found ONLY in placing 100% of your faith and trust in God! Not in yourself, your job, your husband or any other thing/person/place - GOD.
And it has been my experience that when you try to live without God long enough - your circumstances have a tendency to find a way to make it so God is all you have!
This doesn't mean your life will be perfect because you are a Christian - but it does mean you are able to weather the storms of life that are bound to come because you can rest in the arms of our ever present help.
I am stepping out in faith - daring to live a life in total pursuit of God. I am giving my prayer life an overhaul. I'm not only studying God's word - I'm applying it to my daily life. I have found this is easier when you have good, Godly girlfriends to talk to, pray with and encourage. I hope I can bring some encouragement to you - will you please be in prayer for me? We are not alone -
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
He is there - waiting - right where He's always been. Will you pursue Him with me?
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