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"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed." -Linda Wooten

Monday, January 12, 2015

Homemaking: Purpose > Perfection (Managing Mama)



When it comes to homemaking, purpose is greater than perfection.

Often, wives fall into 1 of 2 categories when it comes to their take on homemaking - either it's a priority or it isn't a priority. Regardless of where you fall in this debate - I hope, today, I can help you find some joy in seeing that YOU can be a blessing to your family by cleaning toilets, washing dishes and folding laundry. And, if you do it with the right attitude - to bring glory to God through serving your family - you too will be blessed.

I understand those who say that homemaking should not be a priority. I get it - especially if you have little ones at home. It feels nearly impossible to keep the house in order. My children are only 2.5 years apart - so I lived those times, with a newborn and a toddler, then a toddler and preschooler, now 2, grade school girlies. There is never a time when everything is done, and perfect, simultaneously. There's always another dish to load in the dishwasher, more laundry that keeps piling up, dust settles just as soon as its wiped away, smudges come almost instantly onto polished furnished - and the windows...forget about it.

If you are one of these moms/wives/women...please release the guilt of not being able to get it all done. There are seasons in life when, well, things will be messy. When you are up nursing a newborn every 2 hours - you need to use your downtime (what little there is) to rest and nourish yourself. There will come a time (yes, I promise, it is coming) when there will be more hours in your day to be "productive". 

But I have to stop here and say I absolutely do not agree with the women who say homemaking should not be a priority. I read a blog post recently that was almost admonishing to women who keep a clean home - like we're all sacrificing time with our children to do a few chores around the house. Through the years I have developed my own schedule and have learned to manage time properly enough so I am not sacrificing time with my kids to clean my house. (And I work a full-time job outside of the home.)

I look at my home like this - God has blessed me with a home to share with my family. I have a responsibility to be a good steward of that blessing. I know that isn't a popular opinion - but it's the truth. The Bible speaks against idleness and sloth - if you have time to watch hours of TV - you have time to clean your home. Homemaking should be a priority - it shouldn't be your top priority - but it is important. 

Sweet friend, you are missing out on an incredible opportunity to serve and be a blessing to your family.

A few years back - I was feeling the overwhelming burden of keeping our house tidy, cooking meals, etc. while being a full-time mom to our sweet daughters. I found The Flylady - and while I do not currently fully adhere to her principles - she helped me get my act together. There are still a few tips of hers I put to use that help me keep the house out of C.H.A.O.S (can't have anyone over syndrome - the Flylady's term, NOT mine!) 

As your children get older - give them chores of their own to do. This WILL help you tremendously, and they will enjoy it (at a young age they actually LIKE helping out - I'm sure that will fade fast, capitalize on it while you can!!) Obviously these small jobs should be age appropriate. For example - my 5 year old feeds our dog, makes her bed, helps her sister keep the playroom tidy, loads her clothes in the washer and puts them away after I fold them. She doesn't do these things every day - just as needed through the week. My 8 year old does all the same things except she also helps with loading the dishwasher and emptying the trash. The MyChore Chart app is super - the kids love it!! I highly recommend checking it out. It's available for both iPhone and iPad.

And thankfully - while I carry the biggest brunt of the housekeeping responsibilities - my husband is a big help as well. I don't expect him to help out all that much because I do absolutely NOTHING to help him in the yard, etc. I've never learned how to mow grass, weed or plant flowers, etc. That is his domain (he likes it that way) and the home is mine. 

Monday's - here at Grace for Mama - we will focus on ways to make homemaking an easier task to accomplish in our new "Managing Mama" series. It will take some time for you to develop a good routine that works for your family - and it may take some time to get your attitude about the whole thing in check - but remember, purpose is greater than perfection. No one expects your home to be immaculate - and you shouldn't put that kind of pressure on yourself anyway!! But if you purpose to see housekeeping as a "home blessing" and do it to the glory of God - it may just become something you enjoy!!

**Next week we will discuss developing a cleaning routine




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